It’s a typical human trait for us to beat ourselves up, believe we’re not good enough, talk down to ourselves, and even insult ourselves. We think nothing of saying to ourselves, “Ugh, I look awful today,” or “I’m so stupid,” or “I’ll never lose this weight.”
We say things to ourselves that we would never in a million years say to someone else. Would you say to a friend, “Ugh, you look awful today” or “You’re so stupid” or “You’ll never lose the weight”? I’d wager that no, you wouldn’t. And you would be horrified if you heard anyone else say things like that to your friends.
The Golden Rule says to treat others as you would want to be treated yourself. My Reverse Golden Rule is to treat yourself as you would like your friends to be treated. When you catch yourself falling into negative self-talk, ask yourself if you would say these things to a friend. If not, stop. Find something positive to say instead, just like you would to a friend: “You look great today,” or “You made a mistake, but that doesn’t make you stupid,” or “If you try, I know you can lose the weight. I have faith in you.”
The negative self-talk isn’t true anyway. It’s harsh. It lies. So don’t feel that it’s more “realistic” to talk down to yourself than to be understanding and praise yourself.
The truth is the kind words you would say to a friend.